Soul Searching Sun. An Introduction to Kursat Kutay.

Just because we make gourd lamps, it doesn't mean that I have to write about gourd lamps all time. Or should I?

I don't want to. And I shall not. You know why?

I have many people particularly in the Northern American continent who has returned to me to get more of my craft. There is one gentleman in Canada who has gradually bought 7 of our gourd art so far. A lady in Florida 4 gourd lamps. Another lady in Seattle 4 gourd lamps. I don't mention repeat sales or wholesale in quantities of 50s and 40s. There are people out there collecting our work. Coming back for their families, friends. Buying more handmade gourd lamps for their mothers, housewarmings. You name it. Thanks a million. I survive because you appriciate.

I hate calling people customers and that's why I try to use some other word for these nice people as I have never been about money. I try to use ladies or gentlemen or a friend, something more sincere but definitely not a customer.

As these people return to me from two continents away, I thought maybe I should be telling them about myself, my life and my experiences. So I can write about me and my happines and sadness and not necessarily our gourd lamp designs but my life. My darkness, my hope and fears and my motives. Those people who keep coming here repeatedly deserve the right to learn about these. And who knows maybe it is actually me that attracts them to our craft rather than the reflections they get on the wall. And at the end of the day, isn't that me who is supposed to generate those reflections.

You might have gone through our pages and gourd craft but until now you haven't seen a face. Who is this man messing with calabash.

Is he a weirdo? A gentleman. A punk or an activist? I can be any of those but at the same time none as well. It all depends on the circumstances. But there is something for sure that I am someone who is trying to make a living, independantly.

Born in first of December 1971 but registered January 1972, I am a soul searching sun. Hopeless romantic. Don't get me wrong, I am not a lost soul. I am just not sure if the soul can be found within your birth and death. We have no clue if this search started before we arrived here and will be complete by the time we leave. That's all. Yes I am happy with who I am but simply not sure if this is all about me or am I fully me?

There is no way you can learn about me before you know about my mother. Well she is noone special to anyone else but to me the most special person, like all good mothers. If you see something here that you appriciate, she has an input and influence somehow and one way or another. So it is impossible for me to move on before I commemorate Guloren Kutay (1950-2005). I know I will meet her someday again. Rest in Peace my mom. You shall never be forgotten.